Sober January

I had so many optimistic plans for the new year lately, but yesterday started feeling anxiety and a lack of motivation. And today I did not wake up feeling how I wanted to start the year. Izzy and I stayed home for NYE last night, our intention was to make measurable goals for the year. I had been planning to do a sober January, but we agreed to not drink for 6 months and got one last bottle of Malbec for the year. We ordered some seafood boil and lobster bisque, and watched a movie, “The One I Love”. When I asked Izzy if he wanted wine, he wasn’t so enthusiastic but I opened it anyways. I had two glasses and he had one. I’ve had this particular wine before but that night it was not my favorite, just ok. He fell esleep before midnight and I went to bed soon after midnight.

This morning I woke up sluggish and tired, with some nagging lower back pain. Not hungover or hitting my rock bottom by any means, but just blah. Not how I want this year to go. I poured out almost half a bottle of wine, and we went to go get coffee and a croissant at one of our favorite coffee shops. I wasn’t interested in finishing my coffee, though the plain croissant did taste delightfully extra buttery this morning. I looked at the pastries this morning, and wasn’t excited. Most of the coffee shops get their pastries from the same bakery and the selection is almost exactly the same everywhere now. Why am I doing the same thing all the time out of habit?

One step forward, we went grocery shopping and bought some healthier items. I’m currently laying in my bed with my dogs, in a funk. Trying to somehow get some momentum so that I can find my motivation today. I got extra workouts in this week, so today is a rest day. Procrastinating and avoiding house chores and dealing with finances. Back to work tomorrow. Trying to not be so hard on myself, if I can take some baby steps today that will be better than nothing. 

I’m trying to think ahead to some positive things I have coming up. I ordered meals from Daily Harvest, to be delivered Wednesday. And I have an appointment with a new dietician on Saturday. And, my heel feels much better so I can do more walking. Going to focus on cutting my spending this month. All of these things, along with Sober January should add up to some progress by the end of the month.